I don't like Chinese or Indian takeaways, the only takeaway I can stomach is Pizza. Since the last time I ordered a pizza was back when I was at University I thought that it was about time I 'got me some carbs'. I had a Pizza Hut Cheesy bites meat feast, Crunch chicken and Potato wedges... It was rank. The pizza was ok but the side orders were horrid. Completely devoid of flavor , I was half wondering if it really was chicken or some limp greasy Soya based rubbish.

After eating it I felt dirty, the kind of dirty scrubbing can't wash. I vowed never again to order from Pizza Hut.

It got me thinking what's the worst takeaway you can get? So I turned to Google: An American chain "Outback Steakhouse" sells a dish called Cheesy Fries. 1 single portion (and bear in mind this is a side order) contains 2900 calories!

FAT BUGGERS!

I recently got told by a friend, having children will seriously increase your carbon footprint.

The more children you have, the greater the strain you put on the earths resources. I researched the idea a little and one of the main ambassadors appears to be Chris Rapley of the Science Museum. Science chief: cut birthrate to save Earth

Here are 2 reasons Chris Rapley is talking nonsense:

1. Having a child doesn’t necessarily increase the strain on global resources. Pol Pot the former leader of the Khmer rouge order 750,000 people to their death during his leadership of Cambodia. Therefore his parents actually managed to decrease substantially the strain on natural resources, particularly in Cambodia.
2. If we consider that to be a genius your IQ  has to be in the 99.994th percentile, then that means there are currently 36000 geniuses in the world. If there are 10 billion people we'd have 60000 geniuses. That means we could solve the problem of global warming through technical advances twice as fast.

Therefore I’d suggest the more people there are on the planet the better the chances we have of solving Global Warming. The theory that C02 will increase in 50 years is floored in the same way the theory in the 1950s that the smog in London would be twice as bad in 50 years; because it assumes all of the variables are going to remain the same.

What do you think? Are humans bad for the environment?

There comes a point in every man’s life when he decides he’s going to brake tradition, he’s going to stand up and be counted, he’s going to go against what society thinks is acceptable, he’s going to rap.

For the white British Male this is a particularly difficult thing to pull off.

He’s probably just watched 8 mile and thinks “Well if I can sing along to Eminem I could totally flow”. He grips the mike (A can of lynx) and begins “Hey Diddle diddle, I wish I wouldn’t piddle. I hit a mo fo then I learnt to riddle.” …Hmmmmm needs some work.

Luckily after about a week of exploring the difficulties of growing up in a 3 bedroom semi through cliché similes and a fake American accent, the phase passes. Most men realise, rap is a complicated art, much like playing an instrument, it’s som