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Thoughtful Gift? 10 reasons it isn't

by thebeebs 10. March 2008 06:42

I was reading the Dilbert blog today  and was shocked by Scott Adams loose use of the term 'thoughtful gift'. The Dilbert Blog: Thoughtful Gift

To summarize his gift to his wife was a clear transparent box filled with all the things she'd need whilst travailing: Pen,Notepad,Contact lens case,Contact lens liquid,Lint roller, Advil, First aid kit, Tic Tacs, Tissues, Chapstick

It's my strong feeling that Scott has fundamentally missed the point about gifts for women, here are 10 reasons why:

  1. Women don't like practical gifts:I base this theory on research I just made up in my head. Irons, Washing machines, Universal Remote controls and toasters are all bad gifts. As a man you might think a £300 touch screen Universal Remote control is a great gift, because you want one, but a woman will simply be thinking "my husband doesn't love me".
  2. Women will want to know why you made this gift: Women’s extra X chromosome makes them 100 percent more observant than men. Women can remember every word of a conversation that took place six months ago (especially if it involved any woman not in the direct bloodline of her spouse). Therefore your cheap act of thoughtfulness with be misconstrued. "A notepad? Why did you buy me this? Are you saying a can't write!!! Is this because of that time you said I was stupid because I couldn't spell kumquat?"
  3. Women like gifts that make them feel special: Good gifts should fall into one of the following categories: Sparkly, shiny, glittery, expensive. Despite the slight gloss finish on the Tupperware box this gift falls into none.
  4. Poor Taste: Getting a budget staples notepad is like receiving a can of Asda (Walmart) own brand Cola when you asked for Coke.
  5. Offensive. If a women gets Tic Tacs for a present she'll think your saying her breath smells.
  6. The Lunch box rule: No one likes gifts in lunch boxes. No reason... its just a rule. Unless of course you're 7 and it's a transformers lunchbox.
  7. Headaches are an excuse: It's probably unlikely your wife has a headache on a long trip, far more likely it was an excuse to avoid having car sex with with the worst present giver ever.
  8. The AWW Factor: Women are drawn in by the AWW! factor. It doesn't mater what colour the chapstick is it won't have a woman saying AWW! Seriously... even if it's pink.
  9. Last-Minute Gifts: On her birthday she wants to know you care about her, this gift could have been created at a petrol (gas) station 15 minutes previously. Even if you did think about it really hard; There is a good chance she'll think you didn't.
  10. Emotions not logic: Women prefer gifts that express feeling. Lint rollers may very well be the least emotionally giving present I can imagine.

The Dilbert Blog: Thoughtful Gift

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Comments (18) -

Free William
Free William Australia
3/11/2008 7:53:51 PM #

I'm gonna try to say this nicely.
This post indicates two things clearly.
1. your reading comprehension needs a good deal of work
2. you have no understanding of women

Firstly; Adams said in his post "take notice of all the things he or she routinely wishes was in the car", Not "just grab a bunch of random items" which is what you appear to have understood.

Secondly; women (and probably men but as a male I observe the former not the latter) like to be noticed. A gift like this clearly demonstrates you have done that, over time. This gift would be worth a good 100,000 points on my scale.

Explanation of my woman-pleasing scale; Giving shoulder rub on request = 1 point, Giving shoulder rub because you notice she experiencing sore shoulders = 100 points... you get the picture...

I hope you find this useful and your relationships improve.

Martin Beeby
Martin Beeby United Kingdom
3/12/2008 1:31:10 AM #

Ouch. That was the nice version? I'm really glad I didn't get to read the cutting version.

Let’s take the first point: "take notice of all the things he or she routinely wishes was in the car". Advil!? Plasters!? Pens!? And notepads!?

These aren't things that she wishes to have in the car, these are things she'll need in the car. In gift terms there is a huge difference between what you want and what you need. My counter to this point is: Women don't like practical gifts.

Your second point: Women like to be noticed. Does a necklace not say you've noticed her more than some car junk? Please refer to my point: Women like gifts that make them feel special.

Your woman pleasing scale seems perfectly viable. I personal don't rank my relationships on a point scale, but hey ho, thats just me.

Elana
Elana Ireland
3/12/2008 7:14:58 AM #

Well, I'm really hoping this is a joke post.  Cause apparently you don't know many women.

Martin Beeby
Martin Beeby United Kingdom
3/12/2008 7:20:57 AM #

You're saying because I think women would prefer a necklace over a glorified first aid kit, I don't know women.

Katie
Katie United States
3/14/2008 10:08:46 AM #

I agree with the previous female posters - you have really missed the boat on this one.

Yes, some "car junk" that was selected for her just based on your experiences with her and what you think she needs DOES say that you've "noticed her more" than a necklace would. I'd be MUCH happier with the car kit than the necklace.

It sounds like Hallmark and Tiffany's have sold you on an extraordinarily skewed understanding of what really makes a woman happy.

Martin Beeby
Martin Beeby United Kingdom
3/14/2008 10:28:22 AM #

Hmmm... Have you been out with many women?

I use a necklace as an example because it was the last present I bought for my girlfriend. It was a silver pendent with three small diamonds. I bought it for her because I wanted her to know she was beautiful and I want her to have something beautiful from me. Something that she could wear for years to come; something that she could give to her grandchildren when they turn 18 along with the story, “here's something I’m giving to you that your granddad gave to me when I was not much older than you”

Maybe I should listen to you and give her a Car Kit, but I loved giving her that necklace, and I loved receiving the watch she gave me when I was 21. It was the best present I ever received and it means more to me than any other possession I own.

Liz
Liz United Kingdom
11/26/2009 10:20:30 AM #

I'm a woman and I would be very happy with that gift. Her bloke had paid attention to details in her life important to her (but mundane to the rest of us) and made something for her, which gives it points above anything shop bought immediately. And it's just for her. He said he made two, one for her car and one for when she is a passenger in his. Not one for his car so he can nick the tictacs when he wants a mint but has none of his own. That got a huge "Awwwwwww!" off me.

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online florist melbourne United States
1/8/2010 1:49:10 AM #

Hi,
Is it appropriate to give a bouquet of flowers to a boss and a former teacher on christmas?

whitney
whitney United States
1/9/2010 6:22:43 PM #

hmm unlike most of these women, i agree with you. While a car kit is a decent idea as a "Just Because" gift you put together for her, I would be utterly disappointed in my man if this is what he got me for valentines day, my birthday, or xmas. How excited can you be witht hat? "girll, you'll never believe this...he got me a kit of crap for the car"...NO!

thebeebs
thebeebs United Kingdom
1/11/2010 1:08:40 AM #

Thanks @whitney For a second there I was thinking no one agreed with me.

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